The thing that everyone wants but once they get it they’re not really sure how to be good at it.
Cue countless relationship articles and videos circling the interweb with tips and tricks and videos on how to be a suave casanova, wooing partners left and right with the force of a thousand James Bonds.
But ever noticed a trend in all these articles?
That’s right! If you’re not an extrovert or is a too shy person, the chances of these tips actually being useful are about as slim as…..a thin stick?
wow amazing metaphor
Yeah, if you’re a shy person, some of the advice you get is extremely difficult to do. Let’s be honest, you’d gladly jump in a well than talk to a pretty girl/handsome dude.
So what is a sheepish, nervous or introverted person to do? Well, you’ve come to the right place! We’re going to go over a few tips that you could do to woo the person of your dreams,
unless it’s Angelina Jolie and then you’ll have to take it up with Brad Pitt …..what……..omg they actually broke up?? hallelujah
1) Be a Good Listener
An introvert’s strong point is that we’re amazing listeners. Since we listen and understand anything before we actually give our thoughts. So actively listen to people/potential partners and events in their lives.
Talk about what’s going on in your life as well but remember to not ramble on. Keep the new info about your potential mates in your mind and bring it up at the right moments.
They’ll be pre-tty impressed at how you can remember that specific event
2) Open up about your Thoughts and Feelings
Don’t be afraid to let loose and talk about your thoughts or feelings. The tendency to clam up inside and keep quiet is strong, I know. Trust me, I know. But clamming up only encourages your mind to keep doing it more and more.
The only way to break the cycle is letting out your feelings or thoughts.
The benefits of this is that in addition to you being more open, it makes you more identifiable to your potential parter. They won’t view you as a closed up dude/dudette.
However, as with all good things do NOT go overboard with this and say all your deepest emotions. Be conservative and once in a while talk about any topic that’s troubling you.
3) Don’t be afraid to make the first move
I know what you guys are saying when you read this.
“Why would we even be reading this article if we could talk to people in the first place??”
“This makes no sense!”
Yeah, this sounds ironic, but hear me out.
Whenever you meet someone, especially someone you’re interested in, never be afraid to say or do something. Make a joke (check out my previous blog post on how to be humorous), give a compliment, talk about politics (just kidding, don’t do that), talk about a new movie that’s out now. All of that can be considered as the “first move”.
Then gradually, find out their interests. Move the conversation on to a common topic that you both happen to at least have a little bit of interest in. Out of a billion things to talk about, at least one of them should match between the both of you.
Let them know you find them to be a great/interesting person. If they reject your advances, fine! Move on. Try this with someone else. Out of 7.442 billion people in the world as of 2016, there will definitely be that guy/gal out there that will and even like talking to you.
It is only statistically right.
4) Meet people online
For all you budding romantics out there (yeah, you too), one of the easiest workarounds is having online relationships.
And it’s a great way to meet new people!
But only use them as a way to get acquainted or introduced to people. Once you know them a little bit, try to arrange the first meeting quickly. Preferably with a large group of common friends. Don’t delay the first meet more weeks/months than necessary.
Unless you want to start assuming they’re the most perfect soulmate life can give you when you know that’s impossible.
And this leads to our next tip,
5) Arrange meetings with a large group
Yeah, it might be a too big task to arrange a meet up with your potential soulmate where it’s just the two of you. No, it’s definitely a big task.
But you know what makes it less daunting? Inviting your common friends as well! Inviting a crowd is generally not the best idea, but in this case, it actually lets you know your potential mate better without the added pressure of it just being the two of you.
And what if you both have no common friends? Just bring 1 or a few of your friends and have your mate bring a few of their friends as well.
It’ll be like a huge meet-up where everyone gets to know each other!
6) Take the spotlight off yourself
Don’t keep the pressure on yourself to be amazing in conversations or be under the belief that unless you constantly impress your potential partner, it’s not going to work out. The more the spotlight is on ourselves to do well, the more awkward and nervous we become.
Transfer the control of the conversation to the person you’re conversing with and keep encouraging them to talk more.
Eventually this leads to a more effortless and pressure-free conversation on your part.
7) Make the effort to talk to them directly, instead of limiting yourself to other options
Talking is one of the most difficult things a shy person can do. Yes, it’s much better to do the aforementioned jumping in a well than taking the effort to start a conversation and keep it going.
Yeah, it is easier to just text them and wait for their reply since you’re not actually talking to them face to face. I used to communicate years back to my crush almost exclusively this way, and in the end this did more harm than anything good. On and by the way, spoiler alert, it never worked out.
Texting or any other means of communication would never actually replace good old-fashioned chatter. It’s the best way for two people to actually feel close to each other which just isn’t possible with texting.
So ring them up in your free time. Talk about the weather, invite them to a movie and talk about it, or some crazy thing that happened to you yesterday. You don’t need to have a deep conversation. Just keep it light-hearted and fun.
Keep in mind, the above guidelines doesn’t cover all possible options but the budding romantic hopefuls can definitely give these a go.
So what’re you waiting for, use these and get that guy/gal of your dreams!
Share your experiences and feedback with firstname.lastname@example.org. This’ll really be worthwhile knowing if you guys could take something out of this.
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